BUSHY FAIRYTALES - LUCKY MIDDLE EAST!

It seems there will be no quick end to the good Mr. Bush and friends will do before they decide enough is enough. Crony Blair is already swinging as Special Envoy to bring peace to the Middle East. No peaceful retirement for him. But if there's anyone who can turn that whole region (not just Iraq) into a haven of tranquillity - other than GWB himself - it's Blair. Lucky Middle East!

Let's think what other Bush friends can do for the world after retirement.

Rumseld will make an ideal Special Envoy for Human Rights. No greater lover of human rights anywhere on this earth. And Dick Cheney? Oh, he'll be a fine Special Envoy for Environment Protection. No one better qualified. Oil companies and those reconstructing Iraq (after a thorough deconstruction) will heave a huge sigh of relief.

What about President Bush himself? You bet he'll be the best Special Envoy to Denmark. Denmark? Yes, Denmark. Why Denmark? Because it's the home of Hans Christian Andersen, the master of fairytales. Because Bush is no mean fairytale teller himself. Remember? Saving the world from WMD? Saving Iraq from Iraqis? Mission Accomplished? Remember how dashing he looked on that warship's deck in a fighter pilot's suit?

When those four Special Envoys have accomplished their missions, we can all sit back, put up our feet on the rubble and say: 'What a lucky world!'

BUSHY FAIRYTALES - STEADY BLAIR

The British PM's visit to the White House before leaving office is not just an act of courtesy. It proves that he remains steadfast - to the end - in his commitment to sink with Bush.

Sing or sink, Bush will be a deeply grateful man. Imagine the President's response. He may start with the biggest wink of his Presidency. Follow up with another friendly (rib-shaking) thump on Blair's back. Next, an emotional whisper in the PM's ear: 'My own (s)teady B(l)air!' And finally, perhaps, an offer. To have Blair replace another Bush buddy ss head of the World Bank.

Surely, that happy ending will have them singing a duet. As they sink?

BUSHY FAIRYTALES - AMBUSHED

Is there anyone out there whose sweetest daydreams are of handing back Iraq to Saddam?

Sorry. No prizes for the right or wrong answers.