BUSHY FAIRYTALES - LUCKY MIDDLE EAST!

It seems there will be no quick end to the good Mr. Bush and friends will do before they decide enough is enough. Crony Blair is already swinging as Special Envoy to bring peace to the Middle East. No peaceful retirement for him. But if there's anyone who can turn that whole region (not just Iraq) into a haven of tranquillity - other than GWB himself - it's Blair. Lucky Middle East!

Let's think what other Bush friends can do for the world after retirement.

Rumseld will make an ideal Special Envoy for Human Rights. No greater lover of human rights anywhere on this earth. And Dick Cheney? Oh, he'll be a fine Special Envoy for Environment Protection. No one better qualified. Oil companies and those reconstructing Iraq (after a thorough deconstruction) will heave a huge sigh of relief.

What about President Bush himself? You bet he'll be the best Special Envoy to Denmark. Denmark? Yes, Denmark. Why Denmark? Because it's the home of Hans Christian Andersen, the master of fairytales. Because Bush is no mean fairytale teller himself. Remember? Saving the world from WMD? Saving Iraq from Iraqis? Mission Accomplished? Remember how dashing he looked on that warship's deck in a fighter pilot's suit?

When those four Special Envoys have accomplished their missions, we can all sit back, put up our feet on the rubble and say: 'What a lucky world!'

INSIGHT INDIA - ANOTHER WAY TO GET BANGALORED

Here's another way to get Bangalored. Lesser known than outsourcing. And it happens if you are innocent enough to trust the dictionary meaning of words. In Bangalore-speak, for example, 'It will be definitely done,' could as well mean 'You can keep on hoping,' or 'I'll forget about this in two minutes.' 'I'll see you tomorrow,' could mean the speaker will see you next week, next month, or anywhere from here to eternity. 'It'll work. 100%. Guaranteed,' could mean 'It depends on your luck, man,' or 'Don't be stupid! Who can guarantee anything on this earth?'

Luckily, there are exceptions. People who betray Bangalore-speak.

So this is one way to get Bangalored you can easily avoid. How? Just don't trust your dictionary. That's the trick. Simple enough. I assure you it will work. Definitely! Guaranteed! A 100%!

THE FUNNY THING ABOUT YOUR CALORIE BANK ACCOUNT - HEALTHTIPS

The funny thing about your body's CALORIE bank account is that it works the same way as your MONEY bank account, but has the opposite consequences.

MONEY income > expenditure = growing bank balance = Happy Guy.

CALORIE income (intake) > expenditure = growing bank balance = Unhappy Guy.

(Why? Because the excess calories are converted into fat and stored as deposits in different parts of the body. Including the wrong ones, like the arteries. So you're going to put on weight. And that won't make anyone happy except a Skinny who's trying to pad up.)

The ideal CALORIE account situation is where (if you are trim and fit) your intake is more or less equal to your expenditure. Your body weight wiil then remain more or less the same. And that, in general, is an indicator of good health. Obviously, if you're overweight you need to reduce intake or increase expenditure, or do both. You must do that in a medically regulated way. And how will you check if you are doing it right? Some people calculate the calories in every bit of food they eat. Those are people with too much time (and food?) on their hands. Others check their weight every day, at times every morning and evening. Those are people who believe in magic. The simplest practical way is to check your weight once in two weeks or so.

Well, good luck! May you keep your CALORIE bank balance at a low happy level.
(For more simple Health and Fitness Tips see the side bar.)