BUSHY FAIRYTALES - STEADY BLAIR

The British PM's visit to the White House before leaving office is not just an act of courtesy. It proves that he remains steadfast - to the end - in his commitment to sink with Bush.

Sing or sink, Bush will be a deeply grateful man. Imagine the President's response. He may start with the biggest wink of his Presidency. Follow up with another friendly (rib-shaking) thump on Blair's back. Next, an emotional whisper in the PM's ear: 'My own (s)teady B(l)air!' And finally, perhaps, an offer. To have Blair replace another Bush buddy ss head of the World Bank.

Surely, that happy ending will have them singing a duet. As they sink?

KNOWING YOUTH

You'll be surprised how knowledgeable some of today's youth are. On tech. Science. Whatever. Ask them about coffee flavours. They'll count out 50. From latte to French vanilla. Ask them about Bluetooth advantages of the latest Nokia. Or the automatic safety features of the Mitsubishi Lancer. They will list those out. On their fingertips. Ask them about the Big Bang. And BANG comes the answer: 'The wildest, hottest action show in town!' You bet they know it!

In town!!?? Friends, believe me, I'm sure they mean the universe.

TUSSAUD'S SCHOOL OF ACTING

Another Indian filmstar immobilized at the famous London waxworks! Woo! That's good news. Most Bollywood stars stand to gain from being turned into wax. Those dummies will tell their originals at least two things. One: For God's sake, stop overacting. And, two: Please stop wriggle-dancing at the drop of a dime.

What a unique school of acting! Thank you, Madame Tussaud.